Christmas in October

I know, I know. We have all been aggravated by stores stocking Christmas around Halloween, but as a parent of six children, I don't need to be running around in December attempting to purchase Christmas presents.

Children love Christmas, no doubt about it. My opinion is that we over-indulge in buying gifts. Instead of purchasing a huge smorgasbord of presents this year, think about this:

Buy your presents early, before the big corporate push. Wrap them and stash them away in your closet. Then, when hectic season arrives, concentrate on the more important aspects of the spirit of Christmas. Focus your children on volunteer work. Show them there are many, many children less fortunate than they and encourage them to do something to help.

Get involved with some of the many worthwhile programs out there that concentrate on helping others. I am positive your children will have a more rewarding Christmas experience after having helped others.

All the Playstations, wii's and Xboxes have done is create a society of children that are disconnected from real life. Take time this year to help your children make those critically important connections to the realities that are out there.

We all get busy during the holiday season. We are constantly manipulated by the corporate greed mongers who push you to buy, buy, buy. Say no this year to the insanity. Shop your Christmas list now, and focus on others during the holiday season.

You will be better off, your children will be better off, and the world will be a nicer place for your effort.

Cuteness, A Diabolical Weapon

My two-year-old daughter knows the secret to attaining her heart's desires. It's called cuteness. How she learned this and how she came to employ it so well is beyond me. Children learn so quickly it becomes impossible to see where they pick up on this stuff. Make no mistake, a child will find ways to get what they want, as my grandmother used to say, by hook or by crook.

Often, you find your little one sneaking a cookie or a toy, trying to get past you. Life and your child's desires become diabolical when your daughter just blatantly asks for something you know she shouldn't have - and you give it to her.

Why? Because not giving her whatever she's asking for is made to look criminal. She uses her eyes in ways you know doom you to the answer "yes". She positions her body in a way that makes you laugh and totally disarms your "no" response mechanism. She doesn't whine and plead like you hear other children do with their parents. She seems to know just how far to push "cuteness" to achieve the desired results.

Too often these days, I am left with the feeling that somehow I've been conned. She's good. Much too good. She leaves me with the warm feeling of having contributed mightily to some great cause, yet all I've done is hand her a Oreo. Or was that another Oreo?

My daughter likes to stay up late. Heck, what child doesn't? When it comes to bedtime, she will give me her best routine, the one where she puts on her Pooh Bear pajamas and she wants to sleep with Mom and Dad. Then, somewhere between sleep and oblivion, she sneaks off, leaving the parents to their peaceful slumber. I wake up in the middle of the night, find her roosting place and pick her up and deliver her to her own bed.

When did she learn Mom and Dad get so tired she can use this fact to her advantage? She's only two! When I ask her, she just gives me that cute little "I'm you're little girl and nothing you can say or do will keep me from my goal" look, and I simply shake my head and walk away.

I can handle a child who argues or tries to bully his/her way to whatever they want, but when this little vixen pulls out her cuteness card, I am toast. Once she butters me up, it's all over.

Some Rewards of Fatherhood

Way back when I was single, I dreamed of days spent on picnic blankets and daughters dressed in white linen dresses and sons throwing baseball like little pros. Reality, that nasty twenty-first century buzzword, is not so kind.

There have been dirty diapers and dirty looks, baseballs breaking windows and dresses covered in dirt and chocolate. That, added to seventy hour work-weeks and exhaustion, destroyed many of my notions of the fatherhood dream world.

Six children later, I now see the beauty of children. In between diapers or broken dishes/picture frames/windows or infighting amongst the siblings, there is the smile of a daughter nailing a ballet step, a son hitting a home run or the apparent exhilaration of a daughter galloping on a horse.

There are hugs and tears and kisses so sweet that sugar is bitter in comparison. There are days where everything you do together seems to go on forever and you never want the boat ride/swimming/camping to end.

I watch my children sleep. I've always loved checking in on them and seeing their peaceful bodies at rest. In that state, they are such a contrast to the active, bouncing, sometimes annoying creatures that inhabit the day.

I look at them and remember when they were once just tiny little lives that barely filled the two palms of my hands. I wonder at how they have grown so quickly and at how well they represent themselves (most of the time).

These are not uncommon revelations to most parents. We all experience this at some point or another. I just think that if we, as parents, would step back and observe more, we would find children that are amazing bundles of creation, love, tenderness, happiness, sadness, joy and any number of other emotions that we, as parents, tend to lose touch with.

Fathers, cherish every single moment with your son or daughter. They truly do grow much too quickly. Remember, THE most important thing you give them is not love, but time. Sure, give them all the love you have, but in order to do this, you must invest your time.

The time I spend with my children is the greatest reward of all.

Parents Need Time Alone Together

I love my children. I find that days where I work late or when they're off somewhere, I miss them. Yes, the cacophony of them running around like banshees at times gets on my nerves. And, yes, when they knock a picture off the wall while roughhousing or break dishes out of carelessness I can get a bit perturbed. But when all is said and done, my children are precious to me.

That said, so is my wife. Our days are filled with children. We homeschool, and at times it seems as though neither of us has a moments rest. In truth, both my wife and I rarely get a moments' rest.

Years ago, Bobbie and I would take a one week vacation, just the two of us. The children would be farmed out to family and friends. Both of us would take at least a day to get into a non-child groove, but once we hit stride, we would be in our own little adult world.

This world would often consist of just lying around and reading a book together or simply going on quiet walks or listening to music. Not earth-shattering stuff to be sure, but an incredible and much needed recharge. I always enjoy spending time with Bobbie. When it is just the two of us, we connect and can recall why we married in the first place.

This is critical to a marriage, especially one with six children. Heck, with any number of children. I've seen only children that are more labor intensive to parents than my six! The point is that parents have needs as adults that cannot be fulfilled in the scope of constant parenting.

My wife is a wonderful woman. In the day-to-day course of life, I can lose sight of that fact when the chaos is at fever pitch, I have fourteen projects that must be done, Bobbie is stressed and not the most congenial of people and I reach a point where I can't seem to say or do anything right. But give me a day, or even better, a week alone with my wife and all is right in the King household.

Love your children. Take the time to love your wife. Arrange some down time, just the two of you. Life gets re-framed and the two of you get to enjoy what once was taken for granted and now has to be pursued - the special chemistry of two people in love.