Vacation One-on-one With Your Four-year-old

I don't know when, where or why the idea stabbed my brain. I don't know if the decision to act on this insane idea even received the slightest pondering. My knowledge of the ramifications of this decision only reached my pea brain just before we boarded the jet at a dead run with less than five minutes to spare - I now traveled the Twilight Zone by way of a West Virginia vacation one-on-one with my lovely four-year-old daughter Veronica.

Roni defines the walking, talking sweet-princess girlie-girl that all parents dream of - she's polite, loves to dress well, self-sufficient beyond her meager years and ready with a smile that pales the sun. Wonderful attributes such as minimal pouting (if any) and an ability to charm anyone into loving her do not appear to make for a challenging vacation. Add into the mix that I wrote my first book - Fatherhood 101 - Bonding Tips for Building Loving Relationships the first eighteen months of her life by jotting down everything I did to bond with her.

Pretty tight describes our wonderful father-daughter relationship. All this oozes coolness. It oozes confidence. It oozes a comfort level many if not most fathers never know with their children. Unfortunately it also oozes fear that a) the work needed to be don on this 'working' vacation won't get done or b) Roni's feelings get hurt by her father's inattention while securing the tasks he needs to accomplish.

Roni's first plane ride sent the vacation into the stratosphere as she squealed with glee on take off, letting out a four-year-old's version of a rebel yell that caused the passenger in front of her to flinch. I smiled at my little girl and fought off the aforementioned fears.

Once at my mother's house, Granny took over little Roni's attention and covered for me while I met with high school classmates I had not seen in over thirty years. Also in town for the weekend, my sister and Roni bonded faster than Crazy Glue and again, my fears leapt into the flowing waters of family and newness and fun.

Then my sister left and I stared at ten days of me, Roni and Granny. Dumping my child off on someone else never enters my equation other than short breaks. While my sister interacted with Roni, I still played with her, took her to the park, climbed and swung and merry-go-rounded until dizziness and laughter ate us up. But my sister kept Roni from mentioning mom and three siblings left behind in Florida.

While Roni and I stay very close, mom remains extremely important to my littlest child. I know the day approaches when I must address the absence of mom and siblings and I do not look forward to the sad look that will crawl her face like devastating shadow.

I am blessed that Veronica loves to be a helper and that Granny distracts her with household chores. I file away for future reference that Roni loves to help Granny clean. Heck, she does the same thing at home with Mom. She truly strikes me as an exceptional child.

I do not want to let her down. I do not want this vacation to morph into anything but fun for her, yet work must get done. So far, Granny and I double team her well. At this moment she and Granny mixed up some mop water and currently work diligently on the kitchen floor.

I sit here keying this, reminding me of why I love writing so much. This is my work. My work does not always take me away from my children. In fact, as in this case, my work involves one of my children.

Hope returns as I key these words as I know Roni is with me because she can handle herself incredibly well for a four-year-old. She's telling Granny of a good idea - they can wash the car next - and I hear a brief hesitation in Granny's reply as she looks to divert a very sharp child from a more labor intensive chore.

I smile as I've done the same thing many times. Veronica does not miss me and I've been able to key two blogs. In fact, I can most likely get all my work done today at this rate and still make the day memorable to my little one.

Fathers need to step out and challenge their interaction with their children one-on-one. I hope my follow-up blog to this (which will post at the end of the month) will say that I was up to the task. That I was able to interact with my little girl and also work. That we will remember this little two week vacation for the rest of our lives.

I see confidence rising in my heart and hear focused interaction between Granny and Roni outside my door. Note to self - while a father should make sure he carries his own weight when caring for his children, there is a time and a place for others to step in and help. I'll be able to have more fun with Roni today since I will have completed the work I need to get done which will free me up to be more a four-year-old than fifty-one.